Been down lately, and for reasons I am unsure. Art is going great, I have been non stop busy for months now. Sure the commissions slowed but I have a list of back work to get through. I think most of my thoughts about art, and being an artist are just becoming a mess from speaking with other artist.
Locally I have no one to do art with or to even talk about art and toys. All my so called friends that used to do art want nothing to do with me now days. Family thinks they are jealous, but I don't know. And when I talk to certain artist all I seem to get is them comparing themselves to others. When I started doing art 5 years ago it was for very simple reasons. My mom had just passed away March 27th, something that to this day I have an extremely hard time dealing with. It was a way for me to forget about what happen, strange how now days I think about her with each piece I complete. I never thought in 5 years I would be where I am, I busted my ass to get here. I spent countless hours in the studio getting better and making a name for myself. I think seeing all these new artist just looking for a handout is ruining the scene and what it used to be.
Idk, just haven't been feeling like I am doing what needs to be done in life. I have been in a constant battle for 4 years on whether or not I should continue my path as an artist or step out and find a job and support my wife and try to give her the life she wants. I really have no other skills, its tough knowing I either need to make it or I failed. 31 now, and way to late to find another thing that I love.
Think I need to take a few weeks off and re focus. Also think I need to find friends that are not artist, the jealousy and things that come with talking with others I hate. Being an artist seems like a lonely place, and its honestly wearing on me a lot.
Thanks everyone that has supported me in the past, and will in the future. I appreciate it. Seeing as we are almost at 6 years since my mom passed I hope I am doing something she is proud of. I miss her....